To be or not to be “A WORKING MOM”

As a child I used to idolize my mom, thinking that when I grow up, I would be like her. I will have to wear a saree daily, sit for meals after my partner has finished and my ultimate responsibility will be to take care of the household chores. But as I grew older with time, my goals had changed. We women have become more liberated and career-oriented nowadays. The working class of women has expanded. We definitely enjoy more privileges than the earlier generation females in terms of gender equality, employment, and freedom but one factor still remains constant even in today's modern women’s lives, that is ”  the struggle”.

Till the ’90s, the gender roles were more sorted I feel. Men would take care of the expenses and women would be responsible for the housework including raising children. Irrespective of the socio-economic status, women were bound to the 4 walls of the house. Both of these old and new generation women had their respective piece of wrestle. While the former's struggle was to receive gender equality and freedom. The latter struggles to match the benchmark of good homemaker,  that their previous batch of generation has made.

Currently, we are in a culture, where education is believed as equal right for both the genders and women are encouraged to pursue their dream roles in a career they chose to. But this advantage comes with its own scuffle especially when women progress in her life as a wife and then as a mother. While women are given equal opportunity as men, they are still expected to play the primary role of a homemaker, take care of the chores and wellbeing of the family members and their career goals are seen as secondary ones. Whereas not much has changed in the case of men’s responsibilities here. The Society is also witnessing changing attitude of men though, they are more sensitive towards the need of women’s burden or responsibilities and do not shy away from lending a helping hand in their society presumed “primary role" of a homemaker. A lot of women in today’s generation belong to the working class. Some in order to fulfill their financial needs while some to pursue their dreams. However, a women’s ambition is still seen as a secondary need by major sector of the society which for them does not seem to be a necessary goal to accomplish.

Also in case of working women, most of them find it too hard to strike a perfect balance between their personal and professional life. Then the struggle to handle the chores just perfectly like their mom did, which at times even takes a toll on their health. Most women have started outsourcing these homemaker chores as a solution.

But there is one role where women are still stuck and are unable to give up or outsource easily, the role of a “Mother”.  Of course, no one can replace a mother but outsourcing mother's role in here means to babysit her child/children while the mother gets some free time to handle other responsibilities.

Most women from today’s generation especially the working females go through this dilemma post the arrival of their baby. While some women happily give up their career to take care of the new responsibility while some have to give up their dreams under family or social pressure. There are a few who are able to resume working immediately or after a break. But they don't get this piece of cake quite easily. Even after resuming work,  they undergo a lot of guilt and confusion. Many a time they are even judged commented upon that how she is not a good mother since she has chosen her career over her child. Suddenly the aspiring honored woman seems to be selfish to the society when she decides to resume working postpartum. Well, I do agree that newborn babies do need their mother’s presence most in the initial phase, but honestly, this phase keeps extending and the amount of time a mother spends with the baby just, never gets enough.

I remember by the time I finished my  High School, I was pretty ambitious about my career goals.  My parents and then my In-laws everyone have been quite supportive of me in this regards. It never occurred to me that the calculation would get a little complicated once motherhood phase starts. Although I and my partner had decided that I would resume working within 3 months of giving birth, it took me 6 months to finally get back working again. And now that I look back, I feel it was just the right time.  How much time you need to spend with your baby has to be decided by just you and the baby than anyone else. Yes, your baby starts connecting with you since the time he/she has been in your womb. And you would know best whether both of you are ready to give each other some space if you wish to resume working back again.

A Working mother makes her no less "a mother" even if she is unable to devote equal time to her child.

 A word for full-time Mothers
The great  Indian yogi, mystic & author Sadhguru in one of his interviews beautifully explained how bringing up a child is in itself a huge responsibility of manufacturing and raising the next generation which is equivalent to a full-time job. And how his mother created a great ambiance for him, to become what he is today by just being there for him or being around him.

His speech is an eye opener for many who believe that homemaker’s job is an easy one. Especially when stay at mom’s are often looked down upon.

Like there are two sides of each coin, there are pros and cons of both a working and non-working mothers.

Listed below are a few of them:

Pro’s of being a working Mom and Con’s of a homemaker Mom

• Staying back at home narrows your spectrum of meeting new people or limits your social network.
• Children of working women often look up to their mother’s like a role model and understand the importance and significance of literacy.
• Working women tend to enjoy a break from their usual routine housework and gives them some time out in a different ambiance.
• Working women tend to be financially independent boosting their confidence further.
• May sound insignificant but minor activities like getting dressed up daily and moving out of the house indulging in different activities brings about a small level of excitement each day in working women.

While Working Mom’s enjoy few privileges, homemakers have their own source of happiness 

Pro’s of  being homemaker Mom  and Con’s of being a working Mom

• Believe it or not, there is no joy like being with the child and enjoying his/her each milestone.
• Being at home,  moms get more chance to spend quality time with their child thus helping their bond grow stronger.
• Homemaker moms may enjoy a little me time or take a power nap than the multitasking mom who gets exhausted while shuffling between two roles.
• Stay at home mom’s many times tend to eat on time and sleep better unlike working moms due to their busy schedule
• Unfortunately, many working women are trapped in a constant guilt of leaving their kids at home or giving them lesser time.
•  Stay at home moms tend to have relatively more time for kids and their activities like annual functions and school meetings.

This article is not about whether to be a working mom or not. It is a choice, a decision that each mother has to make without any pressure/regret or guilt.

The takeaway message here is that” whatever you choose to be or do, do it happily ". Whether working or non-working you need to be satisfied. Remember your actions are reflected in your child and so is your happiness.